isn’t it weird to think that if you were raised differently, if you lived somewhere else, if you said yes to that boy who asked you out in eighth grade, or if you played a different sport your life would be completely different? One little thing, one little choice can change your entire life.
Never in my life did I think this would happen.
Never in my life did I think I’d ever have to go through this.
Never in my life did I think anyone could be so cruel.
Never in my life did I think I could ever feel so alone.
This is the most terrifying thing I think anyone could go through. I never in my life thought I’d be contemplating this, even for one second. But this painful outcome has become my terrible reality.
Up until now, it didn’t phase me, almost like I was numb, in a trance. But now, as time draws closer, it’s setting in. I’m terrified beyond belief. I know this isn’t the ideal situation, and everything is wrong. I know this is the best decision, for everyone. For myself.
I just wish it didn’t feel so wrong. I wish I didn’t feel so alone in this, but I’m petrified to tell anyone because I don’t want them to shut me out & judge me. Reality is, today I need to have two conversations no one ever wants to have. I need to let two people know the life changing decision I have come to. I know I shouldn’t worry about them, but I need my best friend now more than ever. I hope he doesn’t push me away after this. And the other person, this conversation, this decision will effect both of us, For the rest of our lives. I fear this is the last I will hear from him. I don’t want him to hate me, because truth is I will always still care & love him.
I can’t help but cry.
I wish these tears could change this.
I wish these tears could take away the pain.
this quote is so sad but ommmg the snow is so perfectly beautiful i cannot resist
Letting go is the hardest thing. It is like everything that happened now means nothing. Letting go hurts more then holding on. Most just don’t realize how hard is it to let go. Sure we can tell ourselves that it will be okay when really it hurts. But we all know that we can never truly let go, but tell ourselves that is over. We are done fighting the memories.
Reality is really starting to set in & I’ve honestly never been more terrified in my life.
I just want to cry. I wish this wasn’t real. I wish things didn’t end up like this. I wish we didn’t end up like this.